Value yourself, sweetie

 - I am so angry right now.

- Why? Nothing happened today. It's such a peaceful Sunday.

... that's how the conversation that was going to open my eyes would start. And I had no idea.

- Because I am frustrated. Because bad people always get away with it. At the end of the day, they get away with it. They smile and put their head on the pillow and have such a good sleep, when there are others who haven't slept in months. Who crawl every day pretending everything is ok when they are broken inside. Scarred. For life. It's not fair. And I don't plan on letting them get away with it.

And she listened. To my well planned vendettas, to my angry voice and saw the desperation in my eyes, which probably kept me on sleeping pills and made me lose 7 kgs in 3 weeks. And then she said:

Listen... ok, you will do your well planned vendetta. And maybe it will work. Maybe you will hurt them, too. But to what result? What's the point? You cannot change people. You cannot force them to become who they should become, if they do not see it. You can't convince a person he is bad, when he does not see the mistake.You will make them suffer for ... 5 minutes? One night? One week? And then, what? Do you think they will change? No, they will get up and go back to their old ways. And you would have wasted months, years, on a revenge that will not bring you anything. Do you think you will get satisfaction? No. It will slowly get to you. Make you bitter, angry, mean. It will steal your kindness away. Your goodness and your purity. Your good energy. 

You feel betrayed, you feel left out or even left behind. But maybe that is good. Maybe right now this is life's way of getting the bad energy out of your life. By taking these people out. Maybe it is preparing you for the good. You have spent too much time in the shadows, maybe it is your time to shine. You going on this path will only bring you bitterness. Misery. 

If people don't get you, if people don't see the good in you... maybe they are not your people. You had them in your life to learn a lesson. To progress. And now it is time to let them go. No matter how unfair it is. No matter how badly it hurts. Don't let yourself be dragged in that vicious circle again. Make the right decision. Life is taking the trash out! Let it!

We have to rise above it. No matter how unfair it is, or how badly it hurts. It's not about them. It's about you. When you give them a second of your time, they win. When you get upset with them and lose a minute of your peace, they win. When you plot against them and lose an hour of your freedom, they win. Right now, they are living their life, not caring about you, while you do, and they win! Don't let them win. 

Life.. life is hard. And they don't teach you that in school. Your parents don't tell you that, either, to protect you. But life is hard. It puts you down and still kicks although you did not get up yet. But it gets better. 

We choose who and what we give power to. We choose happiness or sadness. Anger or peace. Every day, we choose. Our paths, our decisions, the people who we allow in our lives. We choose if we will have a bad day or a good day. We choose if we will get the best out of a situation or the worst. We choose if we will let it define us, or not. If it will make us a good person, or a bad one. 

They won a battle. Let them think that. Let them be happy in their small, insignificant lives. Let them consider you a freak, an overthinker or "too much". Choose your tribe. Choose the people who love to have you around, who can't get enough of you. Choose the people who love to see you or enjoy every minute of your time. Choose the nice guys. Choose the freaks, the ones who are not afraid to shout to the world how much you mean to them.

We are grown-ups. It is beautiful to tell someone how you feel about them, and say it loudly.

You are not too much. You are never too much. If you are too much, honey, it means they are not enough.